A Day in the Lives of
by Masami
Summary: Let us all explore a day in the exciting lives of Edward and Alphonse Elric. Why are the two in disguise? Why is Riza after them? Read and find out. [oneshot]


**A Day in the Lives of…**

**Disclaimer: **Fullmetal Alchemist does not belong to me. None of the characters do either. throws a fit

**Author's Note: **This is my second FMA fanfic. I know, this is the third FMA fanfic that I'm posting. That's because I got stuck in the middle of this one and put it on hold for a long time. I just wanted to write a story full of randomness, so here it is. Hope you enjoy my story.

* * *

A blond boy with a metal arm rested peacefully on the red couch in Colonel Roy Mustang's office. His expression was so calm that no one would ever suspect him of being the alchemist responsible for the destruction of a quarter of the city just about an hour ago. His brother Alphonse Elric was sitting beside him, watching over him as he slept, while Roy quickly went through piles of paperwork under the gun of First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye. It was another typical day in the East City Headquarter. 

After a whole morning of major destruction, the boy was so tired that he collapsed in the office of the Colonel, and therefore was positioned on the soft, red couch. A trip to the library was planned for that day, but it did not stop the boy from using up all his energy that morning.

For breakfast, Edward and Alphonse Elric decided to go to a café close by, where Edward ordered pancakes and orange juice. The two decided to start the day by handing in reports to the Colonel, and then going to the library and spending the rest of the day there. Alphonse explained to the waitress that he was not hungry, while Edward waited impatiently for his order. When they arrived, he dug in right away, finishing the whole meal in a split second. The waitress then sweatdropped and asked if he wanted something else. "Would you like some strawberry _short_cake?" she asked. "They're freshly made."

Sadly enough for the waitress, she did not know that her customer would be so responsive to the word. Any other type of cake would not have caused this, but unlucky her, she offered the café's most famous treat. Soon as those words left her mouth, he leapt onto the table glaring at the waitress and said in between the noise of grinding teeth, "Who the heck did you just call short!"

The rest just fell into place. The waitress ran, and Edward chased. But after running around (and tearing down) the café, Edward's sensitivity to _the_ word kept him dashing and eventually turning what used to be a beautiful part of the city into what appeared to resemble a ghost town.

Totally exhausted, Edward, with Alphonse's help, reached the East City Headquarter, but before Roy could lecture him for the damage, he collapsed. Alphonse handed in the report in his place and wanted to carry his brother to the library, but Riza told him to stay, for the reason that he still needed to explain a few things about all the damage done.

"Why aren't the piles disappearing!" were the first words to be heard in the office in a long time, and as suspected, it had come from the Colonel. He banged his forehead against the desk numerous times until Riza sighed and requested, "please stop hitting your head on the desk." Roy gasped at the thought that Riza might have cared about him, but that idea collapsed soon as she continued, "you're damaging military property."

Riza decided that although it was his own fault he still had a lot of paperwork to finish up, it was about time the Colonel took a break. As she left to make coffee for the two of them, she warned the Colonel that if he should escape, she would find and capture him, then fire two warning shots – in his head.

The Colonel raised his hands in surrender as Riza headed out, but once he saw the door close and heard footsteps leading away, he quickly jumped out of his seat and carried the documents to the floor. Alphonse sweatdropped as the Colonel piled up and set fire on the paperwork that he was supposed to have signed hours ago. He even had a bucketful of water next to the desk, suggesting that he had been planning this for quite a while.

As Alphonse watched, he noticed that a trace of fire was leading his brother's way, which lit up the corner of Edward's red jacket. "Ahh! Nii-san!" Alphonse Elric screamed at the top of his lungs (figuratively) and rushed over to his brother at the speed of light. "Wake up, Nii-san!" He grabbed the vase on the desk and splashed the cold water inside onto his brother's body.

Edward opened his eyes quickly to the bone-chilling experience and jumped off of the couch. "What do you think you're doing, Al!"

"You were on fire, Nii-san!" Alphonse explained quickly with a sweatdrop.

Edward, being only half awake, replied with a dazzling smile and a twinkle in his teeth, "Why thank you, Al."

"….you really _were_ on fire, Nii-san," Alphonse sweatdropped. "Literally."

Edward looked around and noticed the pile of burning papers, as well as the Colonel with a bucket in his hands, ready to throw its contents over the flame at any second, which he did, as Riza returned with a cup of coffee. She raised an eyebrow but retained her cool.

"O-oh no," Roy said monotonously. "What an _accident_. The documents are burnt. Now what am I supposed to do?" He turned to Riza hesitantly and saw her obviously angry face, which was made even more obvious by her fingers curling around the gun. Edward and Alphonse decided that it was a good time to leave and crept quietly out of the door and then out of the building. All thanks to Roy, Riza had probably forgotten about the trouble Edward had caused.

"The Colonel actually thought he could get away with it?" Edward shook his head in disbelief. "Now let's forget that and go to the library and research." He turned to Alphonse, who nodded in agreement, and the two marched to the library.

* * *

The central library was huge. So gigantic that you would think they have a copy of every book ever published. But that did not impress Edward much, for all the books on the Philosopher's Stone had been useless the last time they checked. Sighing, he and Alphonse entered and headed straight for the section on Alchemy. 

A middle-aged librarian spied them in the corner of her eye, and walked over to them right away. "Misters Elric?" Edward and Alphonse both nodded. "I'm sorry to say, you two are not allowed in the library until you report to the military headquarter."

"WHAT!" Edward gasped.

"I'm sorry, but it was an order," the librarian said sympathetically. "Please go, the woman on the phone sounded pretty upset. And SHHHH! Please do _not_ yell in the library." To that, Edward and Alphonse both yelped and ran out the door. She quickly added, "No running either!" and waited until Edward and Alphonse went out the door, then returned to sorting out returned books.

"Al… that librarian was scary… but I can think of someone scarier… the _woman_ at the headquarter…," Edward shivered as he spoke. "You know who I'm talking about, right?"

Alphonse nodded slowly in terror. "Y-yeah…. _Her_." He cleared his throat purposely. "I guess she didn't forget about us…."

Doing a quick calculation in his head, Edward concluded that it was definitely not the best time to visit the Headquarter. _She_ was mad when they left because of Roy, and _she_ was probably even madder that they left without an explanation as to what happened that resulted in the destruction of a large part of the city.

"What do you suppose we do, Nii-san?" Alphonse asked. "If we go back the Headquarter, she'll kill us…. But if we don't, we can't get into the library."

"Then we'll just have to…," Edward took a deep breath.

"Go to the Headquarter?" Alphonse made a face.

"No," replied his brother with an evil smile. "We'll just have to sneak into the library."

"What a great idea – "Alphonse began, relieved, but his expression changed rapidly as he went through what his brother had just said. "WHAT!"

Knowing that typical librarians have very sharp eyes, Edward decided to disguise himself so that they would not be able to tell who he is. It was harder for Alphonse to camouflage himself, but Edward suggested that a trip to the Halloween costume store would solve everything. They walked to the store, where a large variety of costumes were on sale for the reason that Halloween was months away, and the costumes were "going out of style".

"Nii-san," Alphonse said from inside the fitting room. "Are you sure this is going to work?"

"Of course!" Edward replied confidently. "Trust me, Al, no one will be able to tell that we are the Elric brothers."

"Yeah," Alphonse hesitated. "But – I think they'd still look at us funny. I mean, you're wearing a very lacy dress, and I'm a gigantic cat with huge glittering golden eyes…." He looked at the head of the mascot that rested on top of the table, then looked at himself. He looked ridiculous. Sure the fluffy cat costume (with a long tail that is just as furry) fit him perfectly, but giant cats were not often seen out on the streets of East City.

Edward picked up an umbrella that was just as lacy as his pink dress that resembled something the ladies wore back in the seventeen hundreds. With his hair in a tidy ponytail and his feet in high heels, no one would ever suspect him of being Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist. That is, until Alphonse called him 'Nii-san'.

"Don't call me Nii-san, Al," Edward gave him a look. "Do I look like a Nii-san to you right now? Besides, cats aren't supposed to talk."

Alphonse sweatdropped and said uncertainly, "Meow…?"

"Much better," Edward laughed. "No one will ever suspect that you're Al."

Continuing his evil laughter, Edward dragged Alphonse out into the streets by the tail. The majority of the population whom they happened to pass by stared at them and made faces, which Edward ignored. Alphonse on the other hand, appeared to be less wild about the whole idea of disguise, especially in a cream-coloured cat suit. ("It was either that or the bunny with a cotton tail. Would you rather be a pink bunny?")

* * *

Once in the library, Edward and Alphonse dashed straight to the shelves where alchemy books were. Edward simply dived into the books and started to read, but Alphonse appeared to be less comfortable with everyone looking at them. Sure they looked nothing like the Elric brothers, but it would be very embarrassing if anyone found out who they were. He looked around to find them a place to avoid being seen, but instead of a nice spot to sit, he found Sergeant General Kain Fury glancing through the library. He appeared to be looking for someone. 

Fury spotted the what resembled a massive cat and waved right away. "Hey, Alphonse! What are you doing dressed as a cat?"

"Err, I'm not dressed as a cat, Sergeant General Fury," Alphonse said quickly, sweatdropping. "And who is this Alphonse person you speak of?" He tried to avoid Fury's eyes by looking away, but his disguise was easily uncovered. Fury sweatdropped also. "If you're not Alphonse then… how do you know my name? Are you okay?"

"Of course. Now I must um…," Alphonse took a step back and thought quickly of an excuse to get away. "Go to a child's birthday party. I'm hired in place of a clown. Can't be late for that!" He grabbed his brother's arm and raced out of the alchemy section, past the librarian lady, out the doors and jumped into some shrubs. The librarian's sharp voice, which sounded something like "No running in the library!" was accompanied by the alarm. "That was close! Nii-san, how can you read at a time like this?"

Edward, as if nothing had happened, was still reading the book he had from the library. _From the library_. Uh-oh.

"Oh no, you didn't put the book back! No wonder the alarm went off." Alphonse panicked. "But we can't go back in there, the librarian is so strict she'll lecture us for hours! And Sergeant General Fury just saw us! And he knew that I was a cat, I mean, the cat was me! Do you think he believed me when I told him that I was going to a kid's birthday party?"

Silence. Edward continued to read. Sweatdropping, Alphonse snatched the book out of his hands and stood up, putting it out of reach of Edward. "Hey!" Edward finally came back to the real world. "Give it back!" He grabbed Alphonse's furry arm and attempted to climb onto the top of his head in order to retrieve the book, however the person he saw was the last person he wanted to see at the particular moment.

"F-First Lieutenant Hawkeye!" Edward gasped then covered his mouth with his hands as he saw the woman standing by the entrance, talking to Sergeant General Fury who had just come out of the building. She did not seem to have noticed the two of them, but he did not have a good feeling about seeing her there at the library. He bent down right away, pulling Alphonse with him.

"Nii-san, what's she doing here?" Alphonse whispered.

"How am I supposed to know?" Edward replied softly, panicking slightly. "I just hope she's not here for us." Alphonse nodded. "But what if she is? And what if she's still mad at the Colonel for not doing his work properly? And what if she takes out her anger on us?"

"Calm down, Nii-san," Alphonse sweatdropped. "Let's take a deep breath and walk away. If we act like nothing's wrong, she probably won't even notice. We're in disguise, remember?"

So the two – well, only Edward. Alphonse could only pretend – took in a lungful of air, then let it out slowly. "Here we go," Edward gulped then stepped out of the shrub. "Come along, kitty cat." Alphonse followed his brother and sweatdropped at his new, tasteless nickname. But it was not the time to critique his brother's sense of naming.

They both walked nervously, with Edward struggling to maintain balance in his high heels, and Alphonse trying not to mind the people around them. Their appearance, however, attracted a lot more attention than needed. The people were gazing and pointing at the two as if they were two monkeys in the zoo. Just when the two passed Riza, a voice came from behind. "Edward and Alphonse." Edward jumped up in surprise, and Alphonse gulped. They turned slowly and saw Riza's not-so-happy face.

"Are you sure those two aren't in the library?" she continued. Good. She did not see through their disguise. Or maybe it was just because they looked too much like a Victorian doll and a huge plush cat to be the ever-infamous alchemist brothers. "Did you look everywhere? If they aren't in their rented room or the library then… where could they be?" She held her hand to her chin and thought for a moment.

"Well, there _was_ a person – I mean cat – in the library acting rather suspicious…," offered Fury. "But then again," he let out a laugh. "Who'd be stupid enough to disguise as a cat? I mean, that'll just attract more attention."

Alphonse sweatdropped and stared at Edward. _Well, guess whose bright idea it was! _Not that he had much of a choice – the only clothes he could fit into were the cat plush suit he had on and the pink bunny suit. As a suit of armour, he was already receiving a lot more attention than he wanted, and as a suit of armour in a cat plush suit, he just wanted to dig a hole on the ground and dive in. His brother seemed to be more comfortable in his disguise, it seemed, though the sight of him struggling to walk straight in high-heels was not too appealing.

As Riza turned, her eyes met the Elric brothers, who sweatdropped and walked rather stiffly. Just when she stared at them distrustfully, Edward let out a high-pitched yet nervous laugh and said, "Alphonette, I think we better hurry up, wouldn't you agree?"

_Alphonette! _"Yes, nii-san – I mean nee-san – I mean…"

The voice echoed in the empty suit of armour. At the same time, the sound of Riza's gun being loaded was heard by all. Though having their backs towards the bearer of the gun, the two knew how much trouble they were in. The Victorian doll and the gigantic cat slowly raised their hands in surrender.

* * *

In the quiet office of Colonel Roy Mustang sat four people: two by the desk and two on the couches. The only sounds heard were the noises of pens scratching against the surface of paper, and the sound of taking sips of liquid. Piled on the desks were documentations, which resembled mountains, and beside the two big piles sat the Colonel and the Fullmetal Alchemist, on opposite sides of the desk. Their arms were moving non-stop as if their very lives depended on the completion of the paperwork. 

"I'm so happy to see that you two have finally decided to work diligently," said Riza with a smile. As she inspected the work of the two, she enjoyed the aroma of her nice, hot cup of tea. "You have till the end of the day to finish those," she added, then glanced at the clock. "That means you have three hours."

"THREE HOURS!" Edward screamed. "I can't possibly finish all these in three hours! Unlike the Colonel, I don't procrastinate till the last minute! I'm not trained for this!"

"You're calling ME a procrastinator!" Roy raised a brow. "Well unlike _someone_, I can and will get all my work done on time."

Alphonse, who sat on the couch opposing the one Riza sat on, sweatdropped. _These two are so much alike_, he thought to himself. If he were able to drink, he and Riza would have been enjoying a nice, quiet teatime while watching the other two slave away. To that thought, Alphonse chuckled to himself silently.

"More work, less talk," Riza said calmly. "It's your own fault you destroyed half the city. All the landowners decided to write letters of complaint to the military, since you're a State Alchemist. Now, it's your responsibility to process all those paperwork regarding your violent behaviour."

Edward looked less than pleased as Roy let out a snigger. "_Good luck_, Fullmetal."

"Shaddup, Colonel," Edward snorted. "Your pile is bigger than mine so get to work."

"Oh, I almost forgot," Riza looked up from her teacup. "The librarian was looking for you. She looked pretty mad. I think you have one of her books… you might want to go see her and apologize. You might also want to go tomorrow, though. She gives long lectures."

The Fullmetal Alchemist made a face that closely resembled Munch's Scream. Roy laughed out loud but stopped when Riza pulled out her gun, implying that he should go back to work. For the rest of the hours, Edward dreaded the arrival of the next day. But on a happier note, the two did manage to get all their papers done and were allowed to go home.

And so, another exciting day in East City came to an end.

**The End**

**Author's Note: **This is NOT supposed to be a serious story. It's fluff. So please don't tell me how the story doesn't make sense or how there's no point to this story. But, I'd love to hear others' opinions, especially comments of people who have taken the time to read my story. So please review, let me know what you liked or hated about the story. It is much appreciated.

- Sammi. Oct. 16/2005


End file.
